I should probably explain UK exams a little so that this makes sense to any international readers. So basically in college we learn 3 or 4 subjects for 2 years and at the end of the 2 years we do exams that we get graded for to get into uni. Unless there’s coursework then all the work you’ve done for those 2 years boils down to how well you can do in the 3 weeks of exams. Not only are all exams external and marked by invigilator but we’re pitted against the rest of the country for the best marks to get the best grades as only a certain percentage of the country can get each grade. I had 7 exams all together which is more than some people and less than others it just depends what subjects you take. So failing these 7 exams would mean I’ve failed all three of my courses and I’ve wasted two years of my life.
So why didn’t I revise for them if they’re so important?
I suppose the main reason is because they’re so important. That probably doesn’t make any sense, it barely makes sense to me but somehow its the truth. The pressure that students are under to do well not only from teachers and family but also from ourselves is overwhelming to say the least. Somehow the pressure to do well for me got to the point where I no longer cared about my results because it was easier than trying to meet unachievable targets. So I just gave up revising all together by the time that it got to my exams because I genuinely didn’t care enough about doing well.
In high school when I did my GCSE’s I revised and worked hard for one of my subjects out of the 10 qualifications that I got and I got good grades in all of my subjects apart from the one I worked for where I got a C. That probably doesn’t seem bad but I put my soul into that subject and the three stages of coursework that added to my exam to make my grade. I was crushed after getting my results, after working so hard for something and not getting it because I tried my absolute hardest and it still wasn’t good enough. So fast forward to college taking three subjects (business media and film) that I somewhat care about and I didn’t want the same thing to happen again because I don’t think I would be able to get through it again. So I thought if I didn’t try, if I didn’t revise then it wouldn’t be as devastating if I failed because I potentially could have done better if I tried and really wanted it. Even it that isn’t true it’s easier to pretend then to have tried and failed. Or so I thought.
Revising means going through everything you should know and realising all the things you don’t remember learning or that you still can’t quite get your head around a week before the exam. For me this causes so much anxiety because I suddenly realise everything that could come up that I’m not prepared for. So instead of trying to target the week spots and get ready I found it easier to stay calm by not revising at all.
I don’t regret what I did but I do think it was a really stupid thing of me to do especially when I get my results in a few weeks and realise that they aren’t what I could have achieved. I strongly advise that if you have important exams in the future that you don’t use this method because it’s reckless and you’ll more then likely fail. If my results come back bad I’ve wasted two years of my life by not even trying. If you do try at least you can say that you did – I can’t.Â
This post is part of my ‘the truth’ series and the second part of my ‘exam season’ mini series so be sure to check them out through the tags on my blog. Thank you for reading if you got this far.