I haven't really spoke about this to anyone online and there isn't a particular reason other than the fact it just hasn't come up but I thought I'd make a post about it for all those people who have dyslexia too and for those who want to understand it better.
So what is dyslexia?
By definition "dyslexia is a general term for disorders that involve difficulty in learning to read or interpret words, letters and other symbols, but that does not affect general intelligence."
What does this mean for me?
It means I take a little longer to process things then the average person and I often have to reread things several times before I can fully understand it. This makes me even more anxious about exams and being put on the spot. I also get angry with myself a lot when I can't understand something as quickly as my classmates but then I remind myself that my brain doesn't work in the same way, reread the information and try again. I don't know about others but for me it's a lot of trying again, rereading the same paragraph 6 times, rewriting the same word 10 different ways, going over a sentence again and again in my head before writing it down. Which means it takes a while to do things most of the time and that's why I get extra time in my exams.
When did I get diagnosed?
In primary school I was told I had dyslexia but when I got to high school they made me take the screening all over again which basically says if there's a chance you have dyslexia which showed I had a moderate chance. I'd got help in primary school with one on one sessions helping with spelling and reading but in high school they did nothing to help I was part of a 'group' which was basically to make the school look like they were doing something but we only met when Ofsted were coming in. So as you probably guesses that we completely unhelpful. They didn't try to see if I was eligible for any extra time or help and basically just left me too it. When I got to college I had one on ones with a lovely woman, Jane, where we did memory work, spelling, grammar and basically anything she thought would help in my exams. It was wired talking to someone about it at first because I'd basically been shunned in high school but I got used to it after a couple of weeks. When I told her about my experience in high school she was shocked at how little they did and put me on the waiting list for a dyslexia test straight away.
The test
The test is about 4 hours and consists of a range of activities which assesses lots of things from reading speed & age, spelling, grammar, memory, problem solving, comprehension and etc. On each test you get a score which is how 'well' you did, by the end of it my brain was exhausted and he told me that I had dyslexia but would have to wait to hear more about it. It takes a week for them to compile all the data and make a formal diagnosis where you go back for a follow-up and results reading. He told me what I'd basically always known, I'm dyslexic. He explained what I score on all the tests and what that meant for me - Basically you have to score high on some of the tests and low on others to show that capability of intelligence but struggles with processing data. For me I was in the very top percentile for my overall verbal ability and in the above average range for my matrices test while my weaknesses are single word reading, sight word reading and phonemic decoding efficiency and spelling which have affected my reading and spelling skills.
Of course I wasn't shocked with my diagnosis but it made me think 'now I know I really am stupid' but the key words from the definition for me are "does not affect general intelligence" because I always thought that being dyslexic meant that I was stupid and not as intelligent as everyone around me. But that's just not true. My brain processes things differently and that's not a bad thing it's just different. I find it difficult to concentrate sometimes while reading and writing and that's my brains way of telling me that I'm not understanding something. I've proven that dyslexia doesn't need to be a hindrance to my education and life and that I can still achieve everything I want to with it. If anything it makes me more determined to achieve great things.
I like to think that my dyslexia is what made me love writing so much because I always wanted to prove that even with this disability I could still perform the same as everyone else. That it didn't mean I couldn't achieve what other people could if I wanted too.
I'm a book-worm that's just the way I am and that's woven into my DNA which it always has been. This didn't change when I got my diagnosis it was just an 'ah' moment for me when I finally realised why I was having difficulty reading.
It's wired and difficult to explain what it's like having dyslexia but it's like you can see the words on the page and even if you know what they all mean separately it's like my brain can't figure out how they're all connected. Using green leaf paper helps a lot with this as it creates less off a contrast between the black of the words on the white paper. Not everyone uses green it ranges from yellow to pink but green has always worked the best for me so that's the one I use.
I would say that people are shocked when I tell them I'm dyslexic "but you're so smart" "I wouldn't think you were dyslexic" well I want to let people know that I can be intelligent and dyslexic, I can have one with the other. This is one of the main reasons why I wanted to write this post and I hope that you can understand it a bit better now. If you have any questions comment below or dm me I'm open to talk more.
This is an extra long post so thank you if you got this far. :)